Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
