guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
