then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
