Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
