Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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