This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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