I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My vagina is officially offended.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
