i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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