This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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