never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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