just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
