i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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