is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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