Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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