White coat. Heels.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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