Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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