when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
