Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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