So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
