cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
