I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
