Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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