There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
