dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
