I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
