i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
