Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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