Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
