i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
