Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
