I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
