speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
