Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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