Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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