He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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