none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
