I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
