Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
