i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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