I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
