If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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