When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
