Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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