man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The uberlube is also flammable
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
