ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
