do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
