Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
