I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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