plz talk dirty to me
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
