I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
