yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
