I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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