i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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