At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
