weddingsv make me drug and hornr
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize