I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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