It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize