That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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