I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
