Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
