My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
