butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
