I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
