all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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