He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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