I'm eating all of the evidence.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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