yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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