my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
