I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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