I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
