would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize