I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
